Dear [First Name],

[...]
Let’s be straight here: I’ve clearly been blacklisted for more than a year after Pfizer fired me for blowing the whistle on illegal marketing, without a single job interview, in spite of the best performance within all of Pfizer. (See attached CV.) But now things are different. It turns out that I was right and Pharmacia was wrong. After all, otherwise Pfizer wouldn’t have paid a $35 million fine.

And I thought that since all drug company CEO’s talk about how ethical they are, and how it is always prior management that was guilty of whatever fines they had to pay; perhaps someone in the current management would like to hire me? I mean, that would be like putting the hiring decision where there’s currently just PR-spin.

So, I figured, YOUR COMPANY might be jumping for joy to hire me. And you should probably respond ASAP, so you beat the others to the punch. After all, what better PR could you get for your organization than hiring a guy who did everything right and delivered the best financial results? As a PR professional, you probably realize this would dispel the myth that your company is one of the crooks. I guess the only risk is if you don’t hire me, everyone will wonder what you have to hide . . . but let’s face it, as someone working with public relations for your company, you are keenly aware that only 7% of Americans in the 2006 Harris poll think drug companies “are generally honest and trustworthy,” so there is only upside to you responding to this letter. Because, to be very frank, based on that poll your department has completely failed in its mission and here’s your chance to do something about that.
[...]
I’m looking forward to hearing back from you, very soon. And, please don’t be afraid to forward this e-mail. At a minimum your CEO will be entertained.

Regards,
Peter Rost